Tagged: san diego

Something is rotten with Cha (Cha) Seung Baek startin’

Who is this guy? And why?

Better yet, how does he keep getting the ball in Major League Baseball games?
OK, sure, he had a great outing the other day at Petco Park, lowering his home ERA from seven to six.
Hoorah. Nothing says great talent like a six ERA in the pitcher friendliest park in baseball. At least, he’s in single digits. For now.
Give Baek this much. He is not pitching to his 4-9 record. He’s pitching WORSE. Much much worse,
Mind-blowing. And he sucked with the Mariners before they waived him.
The thing about Baek is his stuff ain’t. By that I mean, he doesn’t even look good out there.
So again, why why why why why why why??? Please die.
The Korean Mafia. That’s it, Tommy Finagle-John Lovitz Breath. The only possible explanation is the KM got to KT, Kevin Towers, and BB, Bud Black.
Made them an offer they couldn’t refuse.
It must be true. Otherwise, there is no rational explanation for trotting this sorry excuse of a loser out there every fifth day.
Cha Cha Seung Baek must be stopped before he destroys the entire village. Oh wait, that’s King Kong.
Never mind.

Considering the ‘official scorer’

Although, referring to the previous post, the Sabathia Si Si o No’ no’ of a hitter does call attention to the wonderfully wacky world of the official scorer, so-called.

Hits, errors, stats, have become an important part of the baseball culture. Furthermore, player contracts are affected by scorers’ decisions. Don’t even consider fans, fantasy leagues, all that stuff.
It’s kind of amazing the official scorer position is left to the individual teams to fill. Talk about inviting all sorts of abuses, from the individual scorer having no oversight to overt or subtle local pressures.
Make the official scorer a MLB employee, similar to umpires. They can be set up in an uniform structure, apples and apples, trained to score the games accurately and professionally with proper oversight.
OK, do it already!

Don’t look now, but yonder come the Rockies

That’s correct, Larry Walker breath. Since the DBacks and Dodgeroos have sucked so much, the door has blown wide open for last year’s 35 million wins in a row NL champs.

Oops.
The Rockolas have good pitching, even if it’s been inconsistent. They have great hitting and good defense.
And now they’re hot hot hot while the rest of the NL West is the usual crudaicious slop.
It’s not even September. They’re six games back and charging fast.
We  shall see, but the smart money now rides on the Rocks rocking on…

Barry Bonds and why not the…Rays? (Also, an Olympic  moment).

Let’s put the devil back into the rays.

At this point, the Bonds baggage actually can be a good thing. Really.
The Rays need a power left-handed bat. Bonds can DH.
The steroid stuff is so tired and old. We all know he’s going to prison for perjury next year. So, he has six weeks to help a cinderella team win the pennant.
It’s all good PR. And Bonds can help the Rays.
Since the steroids are a given and we know he has to be clean, the controversy on this point is moot. Barry is at St. Pete to play ball and win the pennant so who can doubt that each day the focus wll be on the team and the win, not so much on Bonds. And since everyone knows the baggage situation, nobody is going to care all that much. And if Bonds does deflect some attention, that’s good too, since it takes media glare off other players who can relax and play loose.
It’s surprising this hasn’t taken place as of Aug. 15.
I predict it will happen…
(And speaking of which in a strange paradoxical thought pattern that popped just in my brain now: What about Dale Berra?)
——————————————————————————————————————
Olympics Aside


The U.S. baseball team really choked against South Korea the other day — or was it night.
They rebounded against the Dutch, ha-ha.
Davey Johnson looked sick to his stomach in the Korea loss and with good reason. Surely, these guys can respond better to pressure. Unfortunately not, as they did a redux against Cuba the other night/day.
Can you say sayonara? The Japanese team is loaded with top pros and the Cubans are the Cubans, despite half their real team now playing in the U.S. 
But who cares, I got a badminton match to watch. What’s the birdie over/under on Malaysia-Sri Lanka?

LUCK AND LIES: The Padres suck and will continue to do so into the forseeable future

Turn over the Padres they are done. And by done I mean really, really well-done like that stinky hunk of blood-red meat you need to stop eating immediately or die from coronary or related disease

The heady barely surpassing mediocrity lifestyle that was an 85-win-in-a-crappy-division and get bounced out of the playoffs in three games days are ended. Sadly.
Luck and lies. Each has caught up with the team that actually had something in 1998 and probably won’t have anything until 2013 at the earliest.
As they say at the old school essay competition, compare and contrast.
LIES:
1. Our farm system is much better than people give us credit for:
       So bogus. For the last decade, the Padres have had one of the worst farm systems in baseball. Everybody knew it. Turnover was a problem. They kept hiring and firing key scouting personnel and management. Instructional framework was bizarre. Furthermore, the drafts were terrible. Hardly any Padres draft picks have made it to the majors. The Matt Bush syndrome rules. Try to get prospects on the cheap and see what happens. The Padres have had no international presence. It’s a disaster and as we all know — thank you Branch Rickey — the farm system, and development process is the key building block to a succsessful franchise.
2. We will spend what it takes to compete in the middle market bracket:
      Never true. John Moore has penny-pinched for years. Finances are a problem, always have been. My Rancho Santa Fe neighbor borrowed and spent $80 million to buy the club. It is his main — I would say sole, but let’s not get technical — financial resource, income and economic vehicle. So, he’s always looked to save each hay-penny. And that lovely new government issued downtown stadium to draw fans and all notwithstanding, the situation just went from bad to beyond worse. Tammy Wynette breath anybody: D-I-V-O-R-C-E. Yes, once again marital affairs have risen to strike the Friars. Moore’s divorce with his (soon-to-be) ex-wife in community propertyland has meant they need to do something about the franchise. Divide it down the middle Solomon (not Torres, the real one) fans? Not likely. The Padres are the Moores’ main asset and surprise, surprise, the divorce is right out of War of the Roses; not ye olde jolly English kind, but the Danny Devito-Kathleen Turner-Michael Douglas fight-a-thon. This will take maybe years to sort out. Don’t be surprised to see this team for sale within the year. Who knows when financial solvency will return?

3. Our players are good:
      Not really. Team officials always have hyped their players. This tired smoke finally has engulfed their lies. Adrian Gonzales, Jake Peavy and many, many question marks, some of them with exclamation points, that’s all folks. A lot of Triple A-Plus talent. No pitching. Other dumb stuff like giving Jim Edmonds a big contract and then just cutting him. Huh? And now L’affaire Giles. Talk about over-rated at this point. Padres officials even had the temerity to say they kept naked beer-swiggling man around because he was such a good influence on the other players. Huh-Huh-Huh? And they were going to pay him $9 million? Come on. Then, Giles vetoes a trade that would have given him his only World Series opportunity ever not to mention millions of dollars and free agency in two months, and blames people for leaking his name in trade rumors. He has LOSER written all over him. But I digress.

Now, let us turn our attention to LUCK,
It’s plumb run out for this tired excuse — and by excuse, I mean lots and lots of excuses, more excuses than Maxwell Smart on a good day — of a team. Officials have answers for everything, but the fact is the NL West has been a mediocrity for years and the Padres were lucky to squeak out enough wins to win a few division crowns. They got lucky for several years with bargain basement relievers who blossomed. This luck ran out as most clubs got savvy in their middle relief conceptions and started paying the best of this bunch a little more money than the stngy Padres, always looking to get help on the cheap. Now, the Pads are left with dregs, no help forthcoming from the minors and nothing else in the cupboard either. Since relief pitching was their stregnth and they are just about last in any offensive category, 
HELLO!
All good things must come to an end? The Padres 21st Century version haven’t even been that good. But they sure have come to their end.

Barry Bonds and why not the Gigantes?

Barry Bonds has pretty much given up for this season. Next season he will be unavailable, of course, due to legal obligations with the San Quentin Nine.

That was the lesson I took from his cameo appearance at Corporate Logo Park in The City. Maybe, he thought his presence might spark some interest.
The reception was amazing. It was quite the Bizarro World experience. Even more amazing in some kind of anti-karma wonderland, the Gigantes have come from behind in the bottom of the 9th Inning (or 10th inning Saturday) and won both game since the chimerical Bonds sighting.
Which begs this question. Since Bonds is available and the only place he can go and not be a pariah is San Francisco and since he has no contract and can sign a contract for the minimum…
Is it not obvious? 

TEMPORARY UPDATE ANOUNCEMENT — AT THE PARK

HI GUYS,

I’VE BEEN A BIT REMISS IN  POSTING. IT’S BEEN DUE TO REAL WORLD DEALINGS, BUT BELIEVE ME, I’VE GOT A TON OF MATERIAL WAITING TO GO, SO PLEASE BE PATIENT.
HOWEVER, TODAY, THURSDAY, MAY 29, I MAKE MY ANNUAL PILGRA-DAMAGE TO AN MLB SITE. I WILL HAVE A LOT TO SAY ABOUT THIS.
So, see ya at the park!!! And see ya at the blog later today and tomorrow.
Sincerely,
Dan Weisman, BI

Sure signs of the apocalypse, and other stories

An unassisted triple play. We’re talking Asdrubal Cabrera to Cabrera to Cabrera and rally stop. This was a real treat. With that in mind, let’s take it truly around the horn this session. I’m planning more in-depth examinations of several issues in coming days, including the demise of the Padres, the sudden downfall of offense in general, and an investigation into coach Wayne Graham’s super powers, but for now…

End of the world as we know it,  REM Fans

The Mayan calendar ends on Dec. 21, 2012. Some say that date signals the end of the world as humanity knows it.

Begging to differ. For today may have signaled a more immediate end to life on Spaceship Earth. As the chosen ones, myself somewhat included, say, why was today different from all other days?

Because today the Rays found first place in the AL East. And it was good. Vince Namoli is rolling in his grave. Let the premature celebrations begin!

After a decade of turmoil, incredibly inept management decisions, terrible clubhouse mixes and a constant struggle to keep up with the rest of the league, the Rays made it to first place, alone and unbowed, even if just for one fine day in May.

Gabe Gross provided the final honors on May’s lucky 13th for the Rays. He drove in the winning run about 10:45 p.m. Tampa time, in the bottom of the 11th Inning.

(Sidebar: Hope Gross stays a Ray. Last time he drove in the winning run in extra innings this year he got traded from the Bruise Cruise for all his troubles.)

Hallelujah, already.

I’m still a bit skeptical. I don’t agree totally with this sign them to long-term contracts while they’re young approach. The Indians pioneered the concept in the 1980s and it worked for them. A bad contract, or two, and that strategy can sink a franchise. So, the Rays better get that new waterfront stadium just in case.

But the passion, finally, got there from here. Rays fans are coming out of their caves. The game Tuesday actually found more Rays fans than Yankees fans in the St. Pete Orange Funhouse. Shocking.

I follow the Rays with more than a modicum of interest. When the team was founded, I was a Tampa guy. I bought a “Devil” Rays cap the first day it was issued. I wear the mark of the Rays while walking around Rancho Santa Fe although the many changes in cap style have burned a hole in my pocketbook.

Today is different from all other days and I don’t care about tomorrow. Pass me a Cuban already. I’m eating this up black beans and rice followed by guava turnover style.

Ichiro joke

Most fans by now appreciate Ichiro has better than a working knowledge of the English language, translator and entourage notwithstanding. Sort of similar to Sammy Sosa — Remember him? — anywhere besides a congressional steroids hearing.

As relayed by Michael Young to Tom Grieve to me (to you): Ichiro rolled into Second Base. Grasshopper, he said to the Young one. Grasshopper? Yes, Ichiro added, grasshopper, they named a drink after you. Pause. Really, said grasshopper, Ichiro continued, they named the drink Steve?

Say hello, Kung Fu Master Po, David Carradine division.

Please hold all applause until the end of the column.

Other funnies

1. Ryan Dempster. He does a pretty mean Harry Caray impression. Mean as in don’t wait for any call-ups to David Letterman’s impressionists week although ventriloquists week may not be out of the question.

Saturday Night Live might work though, too. The Caray impression was more like an impression of Will Farrell doing Harry Caray.

Now, let’s get some runs!

 

2. Umbrella night at Kansas City. They came in handy. It rained and rained and rained. But that’s not all. With fans disguised as blue-on-white umbrellas, after rain delays and a stoppage due to a tornado warning, Billy Butler won the game in the bottom of the 9th with a homer to Left Field.

Not. Just kidding.

The ball bounced off the top of the wall and back into play for double trouble. Nevertheless, the game-winning fireworks went off as Butler remained on a pedestal at Second Base. Not to worry, the Royals prevailed in the end. Umbrellas down.

Less funny are the Royals on Sundays. The blue tops look good. The white pants look gay. Switch out the swatches. Or get the Fab Five from ***** Eye for the Straight Guy on the case.

Uniformal oddity

Waiting for the start of Padres-Cubs, the television guys replayed the final inning of Jim Maloney’s Aug. 19, 1965 10-inning no-hitter against the Cubs. Maloney threw 187 pitches in walking 10 and striking out 12.

Odd, true, but truly odd: Reds uniforms. The numbers were above the names. Those unis are crying out for turn back the clock day.

Miscellaneous musings

Robert Earle, Robert Earle…Keen, that is; won’t hold being an Aggie against you ’cause you’re so cool. Keen performs May 17 after the Astros-Rangers game. And remember: “The Party Never Ends”.

Heath Bell gets on his bike — kiddy division, handlebars and training wheels — in promoting Padres games on TV. I knew Evel Knievel and you, sir, are no Evel Knievel.

The 100th anniversary of Mother’s Day on Sunday was a cause for regret to some. Those stuck on 1908, anyway; you know, the last time the Cubs won the World Series. Look it up. (Bless you mom)!

Tony Romo was guest conductor at Wrigley Field’s 7th Inning Stretch histrionics. His voice was wide right. He must be hitting it big though. First time in recent memory the booth visitor didn’t have to stay the entire bottom of the 7th. Take that, Bonnie Hunt.

Finally, upon further review, in mascot news

Give up your day job!

The guy dressed out as a giant human hot dog at Cleveland was more alarming than pink bats or elephants at Charlie Finley closing time.

Where is Krazy Krab when you need him, er, it?

The Cleveland hot dog is a guy calling out for a stadium mascot gig. Tastes good, less filling, but can he dance?

Cliff Lee, Fausto Carmona, No No Sabathia, take heed. The heck with shutouts, this is a shout-out. The hot dog guy may be the actual key to your success.

Borat, respect.

And I am out of here…

Missed it by…that much: Maxwell Smart, Miguel Batista and the unusual suspects


Would you believe…?


Passive-aggressive moment of the week

Milton Bradley expressed his displeasure in no uncertain body language as the weak foul ball fluttered due right of the batter’s box. He skulked away ready, willing and almost able to flip his disgusting bat in utter disdain. A’s catcher Rob Bowen had other ideas. He lunged and — mixed sports metaphors for Toronto Bills fans — missed it Scott Norwood breath…by that much, wide right. After some extended drama, Bradley finally was persuaded to return to the dish. He promptly got jiggy with it, smashing a double off the Left Field wall. Two fists pumped up at Second Base, Bradley, as usual, played the KAOS agent.

Passive-aggressive moment of the week II

Fans of the Paddy Chayefsky movie “Network” take note. This Rockies fan was mad as hell and not going to take it anymore. Ex post facto closer Manny Corpas had walked the bases full. What, again? Suddenly, a blur from the stands bee-lined to the mound. Security tackled him within spitting distance of Corpas. But, Corpas? Didn’t flinch. Didn’t even look surprised. After his misadventures this year, acted as if he expected it. No big whoop. What can you say? Colorado Springs ain’t all that bad this time of year. Hopefully, Corpas won’t need additional security.

Dropping the “Cone of Silence” over Miguel Batista

Get Smart. Or at least get Maxwell Smart, CONTROL agent 86,  on the damn shoe phone already. Miguel Batista has gone deep undercover. Consider the circumstantial evidence. An April 20 start against the Angels with no runs and eight strikeouts in 7 2/3 innings. A May 1 start against the Indians with one run and four hits, six strikeouts in seven innings. Sandwiched between was a groin injury and one inning start against the A’s with five walks, two hits and three runs, which Batista called a temporary physical setback. But now, say what, chief? Batista claims a “secret” weapon. In an interview last week with the Seattle Times, Batista “let it slip” he had discovered new “ways to hide the ball from hitters,” according to writer Geoff Baker. It has something to do with focus. Let’s hope KAOS doesn’t get wind of this. Time for the cone of silence to be lifted.

(UPDATED — Typical CONTROL mission: Agent 0h-for-0h-My-0h, Batista used the hidden ball scenario to great prejudice on May 6 agaInst the Strangers. He posted three hits, six walks, six earned runs in 2 1/3 innings to reverse his record to 2-4. Mariners were sunk 10-1 when the bullpen shoe phone exploded.)

Padres Upfakes

Samson Met Delilah Department: Here’s a coaching tactic not recommended for home use. The slumped-over Padres coaching staff decided to grow moustaches to encourage team morale and make some kind of point. Eight losses in 10 games later, voila’ clean-shaven. How about beards? Goatees?

More strange defense: Paul McAnulty went over to the other side..of the foul line and plausibility respectively. Running down a foul ball near the Third Base stands, he caught the ball alright. And his glove, with ball firmly ensconced, dropped off his hand. Would you believe… 

Problems, problems

Rays — No last name? — were the “It” team last week as they tied for first place in the AL East. Now, they’re the “was” team having been swept out of Boston. Oops. Premature parity celebration. Not quite ready for prime time. Taking the devil out of the name may not be enough just yet.

Sue you. Or sue the ump union. Eric Gagne should sue somebody. Got squeezed worse than a lemon on ball-strike calls Sunday, resulting in walking the bases full, blowing ye-gads his sixth save. The Krewe proceeds to lose in 12. The box score, not to mention fantasy point count, will appear brutal.  Gagne didn’t throw that badly. But…Can anyone say Saloman Torres or Guillermo Mota to the rescue.

Big Yellow Banana Department

Turn back the clock to 1972 uniforms at whatever they call the stadium at Oakland this week. Ouch, sound the frutti tutti alarm. Bedecked in Charlie Finley hues, Frank Thomas was like a giant sun, his bright yellow helmet and trim on kelly green searing a blinding experience on all who dared witness. Especially nice touch though with Vida Blue doing the 7th Inning on the A’s telecast. Blue definitely speaks his mind. 

Text Messaging Department: Wt Tl Nxt Yr  

May Day May Day: Sound that call for alarm at sea why don’t ye for the ancient Mariners. They had a titanic plan perhaps. It’s not hitting much except for icebergs.

Turn out the lights, the potty’s over: Pirates, Nationals, Padres. There’s trouble in River City. Pray for rain or at least better draft day irrigation. Honorary mention — Tigers. So much talent, so few results.

wt tl ths yr: The Orioles have been an interesting exprience, sort of like the Brewers last year. They’re definitely pitching better and playing harder. While the East is just too too for them, they’re fun to watch, this after long years of dull-droms.

Bck n th USSR: Best in National League —  D-Backs, duh; second tier, Cubs, Mets and Phillies; third tier Dodgers, possibly Cardinals.

Quick Hits:

Lo-and-Behold Alikes: A sure sign of the apocalypse. The Mayans said the world will end Dec. 23, 2012. It may have ended for me on Sunday. that’s when I noticed the now-uncanny resemblance of  Jim Kaat  with…Randy Qu
aid? Be afraid. Be very, very afraid.

Birds of a feather: It’s a wondrous and beatific sight to behold by the San Francisco Bay at Ma Bell Park. Right about quitting time, those lovable, laid back sea birds rally around the upper decks, ready to swoop on discarded nachos, chips and tasty fried treats. Picture postcard nice nature stuff. Not so nice the sea birds in the former mistake by the lake, Cleveland rocks. On Sunday, May 4, these birds got downright Hitchcock-esque. They swarmed the stadium near quitting time with more than a bit of attitude, bad and getting worse. These big bad birds meant business as they dive-bombed the stadium. Scary stuff. Maybe they’re disgruntled after the Tribe lost two of two to the Royals. Or maybe its just a Cleveland thing like the river burning way back when. Either way, not good.

Eric Byrnes Dating Show? Hello. Am I the only one alarmed that Eric Byrnes might be involved in any way, shape or form with the future of the human race’s DNA gene pool? The dating game on the Eric Byrnes Show, would you believe…the girl with the triple-jointed shoulders and Conor Jackson? The next episode promises a three’s-a-crowd date with the girl, the guy and Byrnsey. Kiss it good-bye.

Fantasyland:  Once upon a time, I sneered at rotisserie baseball, saying it detracted from the pure spectacle of actual games played, not stats stirred. Now, everyone loves the fantasy game, in some cases even more than the real deal. I pledge to do my bit in order to encourage more blog hits by identifying certain hidden gems. This week, for deep leagues, allow me to mention Moises Alou is back on his feet. He’s good for some lofty stats before his next designated DL trip.  Relief-wise look at Saloman Torres. He’s chalking up good appearances with some depth and is slated to replace a faltering Gagne. Shelly Duncan can hit even if he’s not doing so much now. More playing time will help. Of course, what did they do to the real Augie Ojeda and who is that now sporting his uniform? He’s hot and playing while Hudson is out although Hudson may return imminently. 

Sorry about that chief: John McCain must be feeling good about his presidential chase. He took the time to take in the game at Chase Field, Phoenix on Sunday. Then, there was President Bush, the other one, at This Used to be Enron Field, Houston. But what’s most alarming in a non sequitor sort of way is that bizarre canned voice at Chase Field, intoning, “Everybody clap their hands” followed by the canned hands clapping. Would you believe…

AND LOVING IT. Say goodnight, Agent 99. Goodnight Max. And goodnight for Dan Weisman, Baseball Investigator.

(BTW:  Check out my online community journalism site at http//:92067FREEPRESS.COM).

Bill Buckner, Jim Edmonds and Time (dis)Enabled

TIME. Our final frontier. Time changes everything. Two illustrations from games played April 8 and April 9 are good reference points to this phenomenon.

Let us consider the examples of Bill Buckner and Jim Edmonds, then.

There’s maybe just a little crying in baseball after all. So it went at Fenway Park on Tuesday, April 8 as Bill Buckner threw out the first pitch.

Yes, that Bill Buckner. The 1986 World Series gaffe and pariah aftermath has been well-dcumented. Buckner faced a lot of challenges. ‘Nuff said.

Time and perhaps two world championships have sweetened the sour on the Buckner saga. He was a gritty high quality performer who could hit a ton and wasn’t that bad a fielder when his bad legs let him.

The Fenway moment was just south of a Lou Gehrig luckiest man to be sure, but the standing ovation and tearful pitch were just right.. 

Then, there’s the case of where have you gone Jim Edmonds? A timeless fan base bemoans your downfall.

The will is there, but injuries and time have done in the skills. It was painfully obvious at wind-swept  AT&T Field, San Francisco. No disrespect to Edmonds who, too, is a gritty all-out guy, but turn him over, he’s done.

It’s been a great career. But injuries and age have caught up to Edmonds. He has been slow in getting to balls he routinely caught in the past. He’s been diving and coming up short. Going back back back to the fence and coming up short short way short. His power hitting numbers are now nil.

On Wednesday, April 9, Edmonds dropped a line drive. He struck out three times. And then, with the game on the line in the bottom of the 9th Inning, playing his traditional short center field, he failed to judge a fly ball that went over his head and scored the winning run.

Great career, but time has done in Lord Jim. And the Padres, who have a solid starting pitching corps, true, but not enough firepower or depth to compete with Arizona, the obvious frontrunner, Colorado or Los Angeles. And after losing two of three in San Francisco, maybe not even the Giants.

Time. OUCH. It changes everything. Lets go Browns!